acting out of love

One of my new year resolution was to more consciously try to act of love and not out of fear. Speak out of love and not of anger.
So what do you do, if you really feel hurt and everything inside of you wants to go into defensive mode? you want to build a wall around yourself, so nothing can touch you ever again, you wanna destroy everything around you that has caused this pain, you feel so lonely and actually all you want is that someone takes you in their arm and just hold you or talk to you.
It takes a lot of energy to keep a crack in this wall, where eventually the sun can enter again, roots of flowers will break it more open and you allow the world be part of you again. It takes so much strength to not let yourself be overwhelmed with all the feelings. To be there for them, because they are there - anger , hate, loneliness, fear, despair.... - look at them, acknowledge them and then find a good distance and let love be the ruler of your actions.
And as more you do this, as easier it will get to win this battle. And very important, if you loose it once in a while to be gentle with your self and forgive yourself and not give up, and try again and again.
Acting out of love doesnt mean to disrespect yourself, its good to keep healthy boundaries, it means to ask yourself again and again the question "what would love say and do right now?" and allow a little sunray coming to a crack in the wall to tickle your nose...